Yes, it was all so diabolical that it could have only been one thing.
“Colleen Marie Donaldson!” I shouted.
And then swarms of people came down from the spaceship, including many CFaPOTE (Creatures From a Planet Other Than Earth), Laa (who had no head), Adam (Condiment Man's sidekick, and he was shackled), and Clay “Krissy” McCluggage.
Oh my.
“Let's do it Kak!”
“Oooohhh, why didya hafta say that?”
“No, I mean let's beat these guys up. This will be repayment for life saving.” Then it dawned on me, I have no remote control to blow up the CFaPOTE as I had in the past.
The Horde was almost upon us. The nearby llama looked at the CFaPOTE and approached them. The CFaPOTE stared at the llama and a screech of fear rose from them. The llama began to spit at them. They exploded after each impact of saliva. Then more llamas came from behind me. They chased the other CFaPOTE off.
Now it was down to me and Kak versus Clay, Laa and a Big Mech Thing.
Kak Man charged at the headless Laa.
Clay and the Big Mech Thing charged at me.
Clay shouted “Don't ever call me Krissy again!”
He pulled out a croquet mallet and hammered my nose and some reddish liquid spewed out, from the mallet: cherry sauce.
“Oops wrong mallet,” said Krissy and he pulled out a real croquet mallet. He swung again into my nose, mashing it in a little ways.
“Ow.” Krissy McCluggage smashed my big toe open with the mallet. “Ow.”
Big Mech Thing then shot me in the gut with a machine gun.
“Ow.”
Kak Man was fighting headless Laa.
She was using fantastic, speedy martial arts moves. He would respond by hitting her with whatever bird he could grab a hold of, currently holding an emu.
Back to me.
I grabbed a hold of one of the newly freed geckos from the herpitarium. I whipped Krissy across the face and gecko stuck on, pulling a bit of skin off.
Clay shouted with pain.
And he ran off trying to pull of the gecko.
Back to Kak.
Kak Man's emu had fallen apart. He wielded an ostrich next.
Laa punched him in the gut. Jump kicked his nose. He fell backwards. He stood. He rammed the ostrich head-first through Laa. She went down.
Back to me.
Big Mech Thing shot me in the neck with the machine gun.
“Ow.” I realized I couldn't fight this thing like normal. I pressed the eject button on its exterior.
“No!” the pilot shouted as she was flung skyward. She landed head-first after being thrown twenty feet in the air.
“Why Colleen, why?” I asked.
She looked up at me dizzily and told me.
“Well, because my sophomore year I had this History of the Non-Western World class, and Steven Long said that I was Maniacal and Diabolical. I didn't know what those words meant, but I found out. Then I started working for the scientists to settle the grudge.” She looked left then right “sorry, Steve. It was selfish of me. I know now, it was a joke. Sometimes jokes hurt.” She then passed out.
Kak Man walked up to me.
“Well, we better go. This place is a wreck. What did she say?”
“That she was sorry. Yeah, let's get out of here.”
Later that evening I watched on the news. Apparently Chris Morley had demolished the zoo and will have to rebuild it. He had also killed many penguins. Some people are just evil.