I sat in my booth at Applebee's and stared at the Condiment Dispensing Robot that was roaming the place, refilling condiments. I felt hatred for the machine. I could feel rage bubbling to the surface but I was startled out of this by a voice.
“Hey, Steven, what are you doing here?”
It was Rachel, from from meteorology class.
“Just finishing up this cheeseburger.”
“Oh, geez, I can't eat cow.”
“Wow, me either.”
And a comfortable silence feel between us.
I finished the burger and looked to the TVs they had hanging here and there.
I saw something which drew my attention.
The TVs had no sound but I saw something.
'on location: Dodge City' on the bottom of the screen.
'the first robot city capable of travel' on the top.
“Oh, dear.” I whispered.
“...yes?” asked Rachel, I shot her a weird glance and I pointed to the TV.
“That can't be good.”
Rachel watched it for a bit. They were demonstrating Dodge City's ability to walk, they listed potential uses for such an ability.
+Remove itself from the paths of tornadoes
+Evade flooding
+Have better weather
+Avoid being blown up by atomic follies perpetrated by Cow Defender
+Possibly seek vengeance for previous destruction
Gulp.
I demanded my check and left as promptly as possible.
“Bye Steve” said Rachel.
“Bye.”
I wen home and turned on the TV to hear audio with the story.
“Oh no! The city is going berserk, with all those citizens trapped on it and it's headed east.”
I'm gonna need help. I whipped out the yellow pages looking for rent-a-hero.
read the first one... they had helped once before. They had helped save the world, after all.
Then I saw a new one:
I might as well try both.
I had told them to meet me at the Taco Bell building I devastated.
They would be a couple of hours, so I went to the garage.
“Hey, PB, you up for a fight?”
pileofpaper boy said nothing.
“Well, dad, can I go?” said UBAM.
pileofpaper boy, then pileofpaper girl said nothing.
“Come on mom, let me try.”
pileofpaper girl said nothing.
“Don't worry mom, I won't get hurt.”
pileofpaper girl said nothing.
“Yeah, I promise I'll be back.”
“Good,” she replied.
Me and UBAM were off, I told him I would meet up with him at the Taco Bell.
I had to stop by school, as CD...
I crammed the ball o' yellow into my chest and became Cow Defender. I mounted my High Horse and roll-bounced on my wondrous uni-pogo-cycle to school. I got off my High Horse when I arrived and walked into Ms Levine's room during the passing period between sixth and seventh hours.
“Ms Levine, can you whip up another Cl I F H Br O N? Something big is going down.”
“Oh sure. I can do that. I'll have people in 8th hour make him.”
“Just send him to the Taco Bell I destroyed when he is ready.”
“Sure.”
“Tanx.”
“Oh, yeah, where have you been these past couple of days during class?”
“Super heroing, I gotta go.”
“Bye.”
I rode my High Horse to Hoj's house. I might need the help of Magnet Girl. She is quite powerful and my opponent is quite metal. Then I heard some good ole' piano playing. It must be Clark. I dashed to meet up with him. I explained the coming of Dodge City and he agreed to help. Then I swung by Hoj's and asked for Magnet Girl's help. She agreed.
I dropped by several other places and before I was done I got a hold of a few other heroes.
I arrived at the Taco Bell ruins shortly before my rental sidekicks.
The sidekick from Sidekick Hut showed up first.
He wore a dark costume and greeted me.
“Greetings, Cow Defender. I AM AUSTIN TACIOUS!” and then colors swept through his costume, filling it with bright yellows, reds and even a little lavender.
“Wow.”
Then the Second-Raters guy showed up. He wore a dirty tee-shirt, ragged jeans, black boots and goggles. He walked up to me, then right past, completely ignoring me.
He then leaned against the only standing wall of the building.
“Hey, so... who are you?” I queried.
The guy just stood there awhile. Then looked up towards me.
“The name is Independent Man.”
“What can you do?”
Another long silence.
“What can I do? Well, I don't need nothing from no one!” He turned his back to me, and walked a little further away.
I looked around at the roster of heroes gathered here at my command.
*the Ponderer
*Moor Lee
*Kak Man
*Magnet Girl
*the Renegade Pianist
*Independent Man
*Austin Tacious
*Cl I F H Br O N (pronounced Cliff H Bron by those in the know)
*UBAM
*Adam
*the Carbonator
and, finally, the People's Champion:
*the Rock
We stared at the horizon and waited.
As the sun set in the west, it revealed the silhouette of the beast. Dodge City was less than an hour away.
“Oh my!” said all of us, except for one.
“This is lame and boring. You guys suck.” uttered Independent Man.
