I had left Pileofpaper Boy to rest and defend the garage. Soon after I was beginning to wish I hadn't. I found something and never before did I wish my sidekick was around more than I did then.
Laying before me was a pile of pink paper, all wadded up.
“Pileofpaper Girl?”
Pileofpaper Girl said nothing.
I picked up PG and began carrying her back to the garage to meet Pileofpaper Boy.
“I have someone you need to meet PG, I think you'll get along just fine.”
Pileofpaper Girl said nothing.
“You are so alike.”
I made it back to the garage and sat Pileofpaper Girl near Pileofpaper Boy.
“You kids talk about things while I am out casing Taco Bell.”
They said nothing.
Cow Defender was walking to the Taco Bell when he heard a sneeze. Cow Defender stopped, and listened. Then there was another one, he could see the source. He ran to the man.
“You have a cold?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I can help. I have a LeBaron that you can use, here are the keys, and I'll write down the address of the place I keep it for you.”
I tossed the guy with a cold the keys to the Spud.
I wrote down the address of my garage and handed it to the guy.
“Don't worry, I fixed the pipes of it after I used it for my cold.”
“Um, ok.”
He stared at me for a little while, probably in gratitude, then ran off with the keys and the address.
“Nice guy, I hope it works as well for him as it did for me.” I thought out loud (by moving my mouth).
I was off to Taco Bell again. A shrill familiar voice interrupted my trip.
“I haven't forgotten you.” said the voice.
“I'm sorry I don't remember you.”
“My name is Terrance! Don't you forget it!”
“OK, bye. I have to fight Taco Bell.”
“I'm not done with you, meet Marium One!!”
“Ok”
“I have set him to eat all the paper in the city, and I have armed him powerfully enough to take out you, your sidekick, and Condiment Man!”
“I am the most evil paper shredder ever, I am Marium One. I will eat all the paper in the city.”
It was a huge humanoid hulk, covered with chainsaws, buzzsaws and nails. It had a face with a wide slot mouth for large paper stacks. It turned and began feeding itself old newspapers from a nearby trashcan.
I cried out.
“NO! Those could be related to PB or PG!”
“I know.”
“I will stop you!”
I pulled out the Punisher and began prodding Marium One. This appeared to do nothing to it. Marium One turned and sprayed me with shredded toothpicks. I filled with splinters. Then it was off towards my garage turned and began running toward my garage.
“Uh oh.”
I pursued.
I arrived in my garage in time to see Marium One shred poor little innocent PG.
“Pileofpaper Gi....” I started, but was interrupted by the arrival of an old Toyota Camry.
It drove hastily into the space not occupied by the Spud.
That space was occupied, however, by the small guy, Marium One and myself.
The small guy scooted out of the way, retreating to the back wall.
I wasn't so lucky, I rolled up the hood, rolled a bit up the windshield. The breaking kicked in throwing me forward against the garage's back wall. The small fella padded my impact.
Marium One wasn't so lucky, it got pulled underneath the car. Its bladed outcroppings interacted to its detriment with the car's undercarriage. The impact had loosened many pieces of armor and severed tubes and hoses sprayed Marium One with an assortment of chemicals.
Sparks were flying.
Sizzling could be heard.
The evil paper shredder ceased to function.
“Wow, good going PB!”
Pileofpaper Boy said nothing.
The Camry's driver got out, wide eyed.
He looked to me.
“I'm sorry.”
“Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know if my sidekick controlled you or the car, but you didn't do anything wrong.”
He looked confused, as would anyone who'd just discovered they were just used as a pawn.
He tossed me the LeBaron's keys, which I failed to catch, and he ran off.
He sneezed.
“Oh, I could stick your moth on the tail pipe and cure that!”
An extra spring entered his step.
I guess he didn't want my help.
I wondered who created Marium One and I felt I might never find out. I looked around the garage and wondered where the Spud and the small guy were, I shrugged to myself. I pulled out one of my five tweezers and began pulling out splinters. I felt sorry for Pileofpaper Boy, he was traumatized today, and may never talk again.
He lost his one true love, maybe.