CD 5:the Commentary
back to: CD Central Just by July
Many of the stories 1-4 of Era Classico required tweaks to make them readable.
Three had been a pretty tough one, but not nearly as tough as this story.
This story require repairs, not just fixes.
The Evil Paper Shredder that is Out of Control was inspired (in name) by the Midnight Bomber whom Bombs at Midnight from the Tick. I'll admit that. Long names seemed funny back then. It was clever when the Tick did it, kinda derivative when I did it. I did away with that.
I was reluctant to change the name as TEPStiOoC makes an appearance later, in one of the non-Classico stories. But that'll just have to be fixed.
The Paper Shredder had guns. Those had to go.
The one small guy has some pretty bad lines from time to time, but I just couldn't accept him referring to himself as one small guy. He has a name. He'll give it. Cow Defender at this point in his life just won't be capable of remembering it.
Pileofpaper Boy destroying the robot had to go. I only had a few options here.
1. Pileofpaper Boy is a delusion therefore not capable of kicking ass. At this point in Cow Defender, he was pretty crazy, he just didn't realize that Pileofpaper Boy wasn't real. I ran with this for the rewrite.
2. Pileofpaper Boy is a powerful creature of his own. I don't like this option because it detracts from Cow Defender's lunacy. He is nuts at this point, there is plenty of supporting evidence. The original version of the story tried this one out. I liked it back then. I don't anymore.
3. Pileofpaper Boy is another personality dancing around Cow Defender's head. This would make Cow Defender far more crazy than I wanted him. It would involve him perceiving the wronging of Pileofpaper Boy, then believing himself to be PB and destroying the robot. Cow Defender at this point doesn't have much offensive capability, so this would likely entail giving him powers unique to the PB personality. Other problems would arise when Cow Defender's normal personality shows up. As Steven Long he tends to be comparatively sane. This third choice has not been seriously entertained, but it would have possibly needed Cow Defender to have walked a very different path.
In the oldest version of the story, as was published to my AOL webpage back in 1998-99 I used crazy font for when The Paper Shredder or Pileofpaper Boy talked. I no longer find it necessary. Perhaps as this is all text I should use whatever trick I can pull for humor, but readability and flow may be better for the stories.
Also, I overused exclamation marks, and had many four-period-ellipses in place of commas or normal periods.
This story had truly been a roadblock in the the re-publishing of the Era Classico stories and the rest may fall like dominoes.
Editing grew the story from 771 words to 820 words.
back to: CD Central Just by July
over to: Cow Defender 5 or 5v1