CD 6v1:Cow Defender vs the Slaughterhouse back to: CD Central Just by July

I was patrolling around Overland Park on the Blur, I was happy. I was awfully big for the Blur now-a-days, but it was still nice. People were always laughing, and looking at me, it is good to see others laughing at me. It amazes me though, while they are happy and laughing they point to me... it makes me realize that I am important enough to be pointed at even when people are laughing, and even when they are drinking and laughing.

All this wholesome goodness was getting to me, then I saw something. Some wripped up construction paper... and it was pink.
“Pileofpaper Girl!!!!! I thought you were dead!!!” I said.
Pileofpaper Girl said nothing.
“Pileofpaper Boy missed you... I will take you to him.” I said, and then I scooped her up and started riding on the Blur back to the garage. A thought then occurred to me. I haven't been able to do anything to Taco Bell yet, so maybe I should just attack those who kill the cows, not those who buy the dead cows to sell in burritos.
So I arrived at my garage and tossed Pileofpaper Girl onto the floor, I got off the Blur, and looked around for the Jet. A breeze blew through the garage, and then I heard a rustle, and looked over to the sound, PB and PG were starting to mix together. I quickly diverted my eyes. I didn't need to see that kind of thing. So, I carried the Jet out to the street and got onto the Jet, the best pogo stick in the world, and was off to Dodge City.

I pogoed through Topeka, Wichita, and a bunch of road, with tons of cows along the way, it was a refreshing trip.

A month later I arrived in Dodge City. I surveyed the town trying to figure out where to begin, I searched around the city. After a while I found the Spud, and the guy I gave the keys to was there too, what an odd coincidence. He sneezed.
“You didn't do it right!” I said.
“Uh, oh....” said the guy with the cold.
“Here I'll show you...” I said, I charged at him, and grabbed the keys from him. I didn't have time to do it the way I did, so I started the car up, and stuck his mouth to the tail pipe. After a couple of minutes, he was out cold. I knew when he woke up he would thank me. I took the car keys, and left him there. Then I took off on the Jet again.

I went to the Slaughterhouse, and began nosing around. There were armed guys everywhere, they were all carrying around assault rifles, and grenades. Obviously they are all killers, but where are the cows? I looked around everywhere then saw an elevator door when I went into the barn. I walked up to it and it did a retinal scan, and a palm scan then asked for a passcode.... obviously the Slaughterhouse was ready for me, cause it didn't let me in. I sat the Footrest in front of the elevator door and stood aside. After a couple minutes the door opened and a scientist came out of the elevator, and tripped on the Footrest. He fell just right where his foot would keep the door open. I stepped in, and picked up the Footrest. I kicked the scientist out and went down about 25 stories.
The elevator door opened, and I entered a room full of computer equipment. One of the walls was about a dozen computer monitors. A few showed radiation symbols, some showed ICBM trajectories. It was weird all the arrows of nukes were coming from Dodge City on the maps... as if the government had any nukes here. People scurried around and people were talking about holding the world hostage with a bunch of ICBMs... obviously this was a TV set, and they were making a crazy movie. One of the actors, an older fellow who was standing next to the one small guy shouted “They won't pay!!!! They will all die from nuclear flames and radiation!!! Commence the launch sequence!”
The actors got to their “battle stations” and a guy flipped a switch that said launch button open. I figured this was my time. I stepped forward, and flipped the switch hoping to ruin the scene so someone would pay attention to me.
It worked everyone turned their guns to me, and stared.
“Impossible, no one could know about this place!!!” said the one small guy.
“Where are the cows?!?!” I shouted.
One of the scientist type people shouted that there was no time to reopen the launch doors or something, and everyone began to run around wildly. I figure that the one small guy was the most evil person here so I followed him into the room called Escape Pod, and hit him over the head with Jet. The doors shut, and then the room felt like it was flying.
The room shook hard, and I was knocked to the floor and knocked out.

I woke up as feds opened the pod. They took the one small guy, and then thanked me for saving the world or something like that, and then said something like don't feel bad about destroying Dodge City, because more than a billion lives were saved.
I began to feel bad that I didn't destroy any of the cow killers, then a fed said, “the worst thing about all this is there won't be any beef in fastfood places for a week because the slaughterhouses here were all blown up, and the rest of the beef that goes to the east side of the US goes through the train depot in Dodge City.”
“Yeah!!!!! I did something good!” I said, the feds looked at me funny, propbably just jealous that I got the job done and they didn't.

I hopped onto the Jet, and began to go home.

-fin

back to: CD Central Just by July
over to: Cow Defender 6 or Commentary