Heath turned to me.
“Steven, you missed the sexual innuendo.”
“Excuse me, what?”
Heath shrugged and turned to television off, “What happened with Pam?”
“Not really sure. She sorta fell of the face of the planet.”
Heath nodded, “You know what sucks?”
I shook my head.
Heath told me what sucked, “I have a useful superhero power and I'm always working or at school.”
“Well that isn't entirely true.”
“Sure it is. Remember when I helped out against the SUVs?”
“I do, your powers are useful, but I was disagreeing with the other half. You do things other than work and school. You just played that boxing game for a half hour, and last night you were in Lawrence and there haven't been any acts of villainy in Lawrence since Danny Lacuna was arrested.”
My phone rang in a well timed manner. I looked and realized it was forwarded from my new Cow Defender line, which I decided I needed after my failure to stop Residue.
“Hello?” I walked into Sully's currently empty room for privacy.
“Cow Defender, it's Chaar. I got your number from the AWLS directory, is this a good time?”
I leaned out Sully's door and peered into the living room. The TV was alive again and guys were hitting each other with the clacking of the controller.
I leaned back into Sully's room, “Yeah, now is good.”
“I'm not upset about last time and a good PR mission has come up for the AWLS.”
“What is it?”
“Craig FastDriver is taking undue chances, he's out of control.”
The name rang a bell. Craig FastDriver, or CFD, had an interesting power, Craig could exert a level of mild mind-control over drivers. He can zip through the city's highways in excess of 100mph, all drivers before him lane change and adjust speed allowing him to safely pass in the fast lane.
Craig went private sector as he discovered there wasn't much villainy he could stop. Last I knew he'd been offering a premium delivery/courier service.
“What's he doing?”
“He's started using his powers on surface streets, he struck and killed a small dog with his car. The AWLS fears it is only a matter of time before Craig hits a pedestrian. The AWLS wants to keep him on the highway. Also, there is a person abducting all jurors and we'd like to end the Branded problem.”
“Right.”
“And there is a catch.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, Iron Ma'am's new group, the Women are Superior Superheroes Organization, wants to scoop the AWLS on these. You may encounter resistance, because they don't like you.”
“Alright, I'm on it Sarah.”
I then remembered that she couldn't have known that I knew, and I hung up as she said, “Wait how-”
I thought things over while ignoring 2 forwarded calls from the Chaar. I had an idea.
I called Heath, bouncing the call through my Cow Defender line.
He answered, “Hello.”
“Heath, it's Cow Defender, I got your number from a friend. I have some trouble your powers could help fix.”
“When?”
“Immediately.”
“Hold on,” Heath paused his game and walked past Sully's door heading into his room, “Crap.”
Heath walked into the doorway, “Hey, Steve, I've gotta go to work. I'm running late.” He brought his cell phone to his ear, “Hey, CD, still there?”
I looked between my phone and Heath, hearing his voice coming from both. Then I caught a break. Heath headed to the living room. “CD, I have work in five minutes. I'm running late. I work until midnight, if you still need my help then, give me a call.”
“Alright.”
We hung up and headed out.
I had a decent idea about how to stop Craig FastDriver, I could just have Sully jump in the way. But he was working until 7.
A solution to the Branded, the jury thing and also figuring out where Sully could jump out in front of Craig, all still hung in the air.
I went to a nearby underwriter, thinking they might have Craig's phone number. I was right. I talked things over with the executive guy and he agreed to be the starting point of a delivery.
As far as the jury thing, I had an idea for that, too. A highly publicized trial had just kicked off in OP for securities fraud. I headed to the Johnson County Courthouse and found a small swarm of reporters. I walked up to one, crept into the camera's view. The reporter's speech ceased, her face twisted a bit, then I spoke to the camera:
“I vow to protect this jury.”
“I'm not live, CD. Are you calling out the Dejurist?”
“If that's the person abducting the juries then yes. The American jury system will not be compromised by the tactics of fear. It is my understanding that in the past jurors were hung and I will not allow us to slide back to the dark ages. No one should be punished for being something they didn't choose to be, that is what our Constitution says.”
I could tell I was getting a little lost, so I stopped talking.
The reportress shook her head, “Did you get that, Greg?”
Greg grinned, and pointed his thumb to the sky.
“Greg, can you get that to the van and have them put it on the air as a 'special news bulletin,' my bladder hurts, but I'll be right back.”
Camera Man nodded, “No problem, Denise.” He dashed off to the Action News Van. She dashed to the restroom, all I knew to do was wait.
The sun began to set when a pretty voice called out, “Cow Defender! You intend to protect this jury?”
I rotated and squinted against the sun to see the source of the question. Before I could make out much I could see a miraculous figure and waivy hair. Clearly I was looking at the inquirer.
“Yes.”
As features began to appear I could see a beautiful smile forming from below an eye mask. Other details were revealed with focus. Her form-fitting costume looked deep navy, and reminded me of the molded plastic costume from that superhero in those 90's movies. Then it struck me, “You're the villain, aren't you?”
The costumed pretty woman nodded, then attempted to strike me.
She would have succeeded had my phone not then rang. I wasn't used to carrying one as Cow Defender. My first reaction was to silence the phone, as I was obviously not in a position to answer.
Her perfectly placed flying kick missed by inches as I looked down to see the caller. It was Sully.
The Dejurist planted her leading foot against the Camera Man's van and kicked off, heading back in my direction. The Camera Man stirred and leapt from the van.
On this second attempt, her foot again didn't find me. I'd just began to walk toward the courthouse's entry way when she was on her second pass. Her flight concluded and I answered the phone.
“Sully. I'm at the Johnson County Courthouse. I'm fighting. I've gotta go.”
I headed back to face the aggressor, but most of the distance was closed by her.
She kicked the inside of my right leg. I lost balance and began falling forward. My face was met with her right forearm. She spun with the attack, overextending herself grabbing me by the collar with her left hand, and tossed me to the ground.
“Ow.”
I was again faced with my moral aversion to hitting women. I thought back to what Iron Ma'am said about most villains being male. That really was a lucky break for me. But my foe wasn't inactively thinking. She kicked the side of my head. I used a bit of the painful momentum to roll to my feet.
“Ow.”
She landed a fierce body shot on me.
I threw my arms around her and managed to pin one of her arms against her side. I wasn't really sure what to do with her at that point. But I figured something out.
“Dejurist, leave the juries alone.”
“You wouldn't tell me to do that if you knew.”
She then slammed the side of her head against mine. Then again. She did that until my body spasmed and my arms let her go.
She pushed off of me, crouched down and did a sweeping kick, taking my legs out from under me. My head hit the Action News van.
I looked around and saw Greg's camera had us both in frame.
I needed to buy some time.
“What did they do to you?”
“I was only twelve...”
She kept talking, but I stopped listening. I watched. She turned away, performing more for the camera than me. The sun's dying rays giving her flawless skin a rich hue.
I looked around and saw a bank and a street sign. I placed a call to Craig FastDriver asking for a delivery. He said four minutes. The call concluded, I gave the Dejurist my attention.
“... that jury took my father away from me. What villain takes a little girl's dad away? I am no villain, I'm a hero, on this Earth to prevent these monsters from tearing families apart.”
“What do you want to have happen to criminals after they're caught?”
“You're Cow Defender, when's the last time you've done anything cow related? You don't have all the answers. And my dad was no criminal. He was framed. He told me that someone replaced his charity vouchers with $8 million of embezzled money. He told me that a jury did that. How can our government let a jury cast judgment on him when it was a jury that framed him!?”
“That story doesn't make any sense!”
I could see cars beginning to part to the East. I again threw my arms around her and pressed her tightly against myself. She retorted to the statement and my move, “This attack doesn't make any sense.”
I could see Craig FastDriver's famous maroon Ford Peregrine peek out of the traffic.
I shook my head, breathed out sharply.
She slammed the side of her head against mine.
I jumped, carrying us both into the Peregrine's path.
The screech of tires.
The breaking glass.
“Ow.”
I was only slightly aware of my surroundings. I could feel the Dejurists legs entangled with mine. I saw a man pacing near me, I grinned.
“Craig, your road control powers don't work on pedestrians or animals. You keep your powers off the surface streets, or I'm revoking your license.”
I didn't really have that power, but he acted as though I did and he agreed. He scurried off. I thought about demasking the Dejurist, but it seemed inconsiderate. I wouldn't want people demasking me every time I got knocked out.
I wasn't sure why there weren't more people around. I let out a bit of a chuckle when I thought about what I must've looked like in that camera pointed at me.
I could feel the Dejurist's legs slip out from my own. I turned my head to see what was going on. I was alarmed by what I saw.
Two Branded were dragging the Dejurist away.
Two other Brandeds were beating up a third. I just watched, I couldn't do much else.
The beaten Branded pulled on a costume. The costume said 'Dejurist.' He walked over and laid down beside me. He closed his eyes. I looked to make certain that Greg was getting all of this; he had.
Toward my feet I heard the clacking of heels. My head again twisted toward a sound.
There I saw Iron Ma'am.
She walked to Greg, sheathed her godly irons and pulled out a different iron from her belt, from under her Nordic cloak.
A branding iron like the one I'd seen months prior, but clearly better. Greg was excited, “Iron Ma'am, I'm a huge fan!”
She smiled and branded him. His eyes glossed over.
She pointed to me, “Get some more footage of Cow Defender laying there. Edit it all up to make his defeating the Dejurist look like an accident, and that this...” she pointed to the possum-playing Branded, “Yes, make him out to be the Dejurist.”
Greg nodded.
I shouted to her, “I thought you were a hero!”
She walked over to me with the clacking of her heels.
“Oh, I am, just not for your kind. After seeing you talking like an idiot on the news I decided keeping you around is good for the cause.”
Four Branded, Iron Ma'am, and the real Dejurist were all loaded up into an SUV that had a familiar looking driver. I recognized her as one of the heroes who defected from the AWLS.
As the SUV drove off, I saw a passenger in the back, we locked gazes.
It was Pam.