This page has been more controversial than I thought it could be. If you read this page and get miffed, or feel aghast, you should read my explaination. This will speak of the origins of the people page and tie it into stevenlong.net proper. (the origin story)

Skip to letter: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Aaron Bowers – former co-worker of mine at Blockbuster at 119th and Metcalf. He expressed a philosophy that the unit in which our lives are to be measured is the anecdotes. It is why we do anything. I ran into him at KU a couple of times. Had been good friends with Acacia Mays.

Aaron Lynn – the original Ken to my Ryu. Had attended Middle and High School with me. Was studying science at a pretty good college last I remember. Aaron was himself in a number of Cow Defender stories.

Abbey West – she was in Guided Discovery with me, I think in both middle and high school. My memory is hazy. She lived in the girl house in Lawrence. In the basement. I think she was an Asian studies major at KU.

Acacia Mays – former co-worker of mine at Blockbuster and Metcalf. She had a very pretty face and a will to succeed in Hollywood. I'd occasionally run into her at random. She'd gone to JCCC for a spell. Had been good friends with Aaron Bowers. Knew Alex MacPhearson.

Adam Riha
Age: mine
Will go down as one of the best friends I've had the pleasure of having. A really good friend from 6th grade to 13th grade, but after the Frear craziness* a large rift formed, that was never fully repaired. Good times were still had, but with less frequency. Then he became engaged to Missy. Then, he went off to Japan, hadn't heard from him for quite some time. I did hear that he married his Missy. Ran into him at Super Target, where he'd been employed. Didn't get to catch up much.

Alan Akers – a former coworker from my second era at 119th and Metcalf Blockbuster. Shares a taste for wrestling, video games, movies, and humor.

Alex Condon – xStepbrother. Son of Ernie Condon. Now he is in a fine relationship and a father.

Alex MacPhearson
Age: mine + 1
aka: AlexMac
This man had begun as a frequent customer of mine, then added classmate to his roles list in my life, and then of course; friend. So, he dates back to my Freshman year of college, as far as friendship goes. This excellent, caring and intelligent man is married, sorry ladies. Frequented wrestling and movie going with me. Husband of Missy. Father of Aryanna Grace. He knows Matt, Bryan, and Andrea quite well. I was one of his groomsmen.

Alisha O'Hara – A friend of Gwen's, also a student of Section C. Neither of those two things alone define her. My apologies to her, for giving her more than just a name here.

Alice Long – my father's mother = my grandmother. She was quite nearly the archetype of sweet grandmother. Amazing cook. Incredibly kind. Mother of Clifford, Judy, Jo and Ken. Wife of Howard Long. Lost to Alzheimer's some time ago.

Amanda Baldwin – Laura Loeffert's former best friend (current status unknown), and maid of honor. As the best man, I toasted with her.

Amanda Gilpin – my first crush, she was tall.

Andrea Deaver
Age: mine + 1 month
This woman is an ex-girlfriend of mine. She was the second girl that I called my girlfriend. She had a great smile, great skin, excellent annunciation, very smart, very caring, drama background and was heading for a psychology degree last I knew. Things didn't work out. News story with her and her brother, Stephen. I met her through Alex.
interesting: the summer of 2003, Shana and Andrea began playing D&D together, not knowing the other one had anything to do with me. Social circles of mine were not involved in the pairing.
Also: when I, Steven, dated Andrea her twin brother, Stephen, was dating a woman from Columbia, Andrea. (Pronounced Ahn-Dray-Uh).

Andrea Dias

Andrew Osorio – we used to pen-fight in Spanish III. He'd win, as we were both right handed and I sat to his right. You see, I had to reach across me. He was quite clever, too.

Andrew Somerville – we used to race in math, program in hypercard, and make movies together. Then he moved to Chicago, I visited him once and made an ass of myself, then we fell out of touch.

Ann Crawford – a self-proclaimed hippopotamus, if I recall. She is likely a school teacher now.

Anna
Age: mine - 3
Awesome and vivacious, had little to no self esteem. But that's all changed now. She is married with two wonderful children now. She liked marijuana much, but that is behind her.

April Kobetz – I became friends with her over the course of being a fan of Misnkey's Pizza. I ate there with great frequency over the course of the last year of my law school education. Her mannerisms and voice remind me of both my friend Becca and the character Rebecca (played by Teri Polo) from Sports Night. April is kind, smart and likely destined for management and lighting direction on stage productions.

April Martin – (my mother's sister) Ava's daughter = my cousin. Now a mother of three. Her brother is Mike Roets. Her father is Jack Roets. Wife of Mike Martin.

Asha Park-Carter – an entertaining liberal of Lawrence. Cool girl/woman. Now attends Smith college in Mass. Her lj.

Ashley Lindeman – once a friend of Sarah Chaar (current status unknown). I got on her bad side, she thinks I am funny, but I don't think she is very fond of me. She yelled at me pretty good once. Haven't seen her in months. Her xanga.

Ashley Webb
Age: mine - 5
aka: Ash
This young lady began as a frequent customer of mine. She was eventually upgraded to IM buddy, and later someone to talk to late at night on phone, or with late night walks. I tried to be something of a sage to her, I may have had some small measure of success. A person of conviction and faith. A devout pursuer of love. Her xanga.

Avalyn Roets – my mother's sister. An incredibly sweet woman. Gentle, kind. Had changed my diapers when I was the appropriate age for diapers. She had a wonderful laugh. Always wanted a hug. And loved me very much. She passed July 6th, 2005. Mother of Mike Roets and April Martin. Wife of Jack Roets. Grandmother of six. My obit.

Barby Long – (my father's brother) Ken's wife = my aunt. I don't know her all that well. She seems very nice, I played some board games with her. I do remember her having a good sense of humor.

Barrett Smith – this youngin' was a frequent customer at Blockbuster, he's got spunk, and likely rules BVN (to some degree).

Becca Smith
Age: mine
This fellow college graduate was once a co-worker of mine. Whip-crack smart, and shockingly well read. An avid book buyer (including mine). Her degree is in History. She moved to St. Louis, then Chicago. Good people. She was best friends with Mel.

Beckie Tuttle – aka: Finger-cuffs - a funny girl, with a talent for art and a need to be free. Her xanga.

Becky Lowmiller – my mother's sister. Mother of Chris and Casey. Wife of Gary Lowmiller. There is a strong family resemblance between her and I. My first driver's license picture looked more like her than me.

Bernadette Zacharias – 'Bernie' to her friends, I met this one in the German class I took from Troute Koehler during my 'bonus round' at KU. She sat to my left. She was 'Deiter,' named for the character on Sprockets. I was Ludwig. What was Josh? Josh and Lauren White were in that class, too. Josh had a bitter arch-rival in a fellow named Cyrus. But that doesn't have that much to do with Bernadette. Bernadette gave me a morbid/sweet Valentine. Apparently it was the birth of a tradition for her. I ran into her for the first time in years back on October 5, 2006. She'd earned herself a degree in Screen Printing (BFA) from KU since I'd last seen her. Charming, funny, attractive, eccentric, and that variety of fashionable one might associate with art majors. She didn't like this page.

Beth and Brenda - my stepsisters, Eddie's daughters.

Beth Reppert – she liked me and paid a price for it. Once hit me on the back of the head (open-hand slap as hard as I could imagine) for having thrown a Mickey Mouse head that looked as though it would fit in with Chucky. Perhaps I wasn't her only problem.

Beth Ryszewski – an artist and neighbor of Bryan. She'd been my date to Heath's sister's wedding, haven't heard from her since.

Brad Bott – part of the 'inner circle' in High School. He hadn't found his direction when he went to college. Prone to series of events that would cause him harm. Brad was the Ponderer as featured in his own stories, and a couple of mine.

Brandon Harrell – an artist I met through Kristen 'Anjl.' I've had some thoroughly fine conversations with her, and soundly lost to her superior pool skills. Her artwork is pretty excellent and can be seen on her site.

Bret Koncak – cool guy from High School, who found me from this site. Bret was Kak Man in a number of Cow Defender stories of the past.

Brian Mayer – one of the first guys I made friends with in law school. He had been a licensed practicing nurse for 8 years, served in the military. He really is a good guy. Married to Rebecca Mayer.

Bryan Kluger
Age: mine - 1
aka: Tex, the Director
This man started as a freshman on my floor back in Naismith. His madness for movies was a source of bonding for us, as Hoj and I interviewed him for a project we had been working on. We'd chill in our RA's room and watch movies, and then he got a solo room higher up, and we watched movies there. So much movie watching with this guy. And aspirations. And wrestling watching. Video gaming. We have been friends for a while now. He knows Matt and Alex well, and has met Josh a couple of times. He just moved to Austin. The man got a site. (pic)

Bryn Conley
Age: mine - 5
Diver, scarf-knitter, Starburst wrapper origami crane maker, and much much more. More than most any high-schooler I'd known, this is true for her: Bryn did not belong in high-school. Bryn escaped high school not long ago, was forced to live with some bad folks at KU. Bryn is also further evidence that Conley's are hardwired with competitiveness and fine senses of humor. A worthy foe in video games. Smiles big. Player bio.

Casey Barthelow
Age: mine - 9 months
Good friend for a long, long time. Through good times and bad. When around, most of my problems would go away, and I could enter a vegetative state of gaming. Many different games. Many late night walks.

Casey Lowmiller – (my mother's sister) Becky's son = my cousin. The cousin closest to me in age. Has an associates degree and works in a small Kansas town's news station. Does camera and graphic work. His brother is Chris Lowmiller. His father is Gary Lowmiller.

Catherine Spitzenberger – ex-girlfriend of Heath Martin. Former proprietor of Lawrence's Green Bar (a house, not an actual bar). She has a Psychology degree from KU. She is about my height, but often taller as a result of womanly heels. Catherine went down to Mexico with Heath and I, and I believe she has gone to more Roger Clyne shows with me than anyone. She cooperated with Heath's martial arts demonstrations, often winding up knocked into walls.

Chris Morley – dated Loretta, Josh's first girl-friend, after Josh. He'd been a projectionist at Southglen 12. Chris was Moor Lee from Cow Defenders of the past.
Note: Others that worked there: Josh Loeffert, Casey Barthelow, Jarin Tripsos, Dan Pouw and others not here listed.

Clark Stephenson – a good friend from High-school, a talented pianist. Went off to the east side of the nation. Clark is the Renegade Pianist from Cow Defenders of the past.

Clay McCluggedge – a year older than me, a jock, but he is one of the fine pieces of evidence that our high school was not a movie. I didn't ever seem him treat anyone poorly. He was funny and kind. Meaning he laughed at my jokes.

Cliff Long
Birthyear: 1942
aka: Dad
My father. A good fellow. An outdoors-man. A teacher. He has taken me on a great many adventures. We've paddled in most western states together, even Alaska (twice). And although I see him infrequently, I love him. His site.

Colleen Donaldson – she was that nice, attractive girl that you can't fault anyone for liking.

Connie Sheldon
This woman lead me (a bit clumsily) into post high school life. Springer-esque antics ensued. Loving mother of three.

Corey Lingren – was kind enough to invite me to his grandparent's cabin in central Missouri. We'd had a number of very good conversations. He could be quite a nice guy. Warm and inviting. Part of a group of wonderful friends I had at Naismith.

Cort Smith – a dynamic man. The first time I met him, I almost thought it was a false front. Cort Smith is the real deal, a classmate in my Section A. His undergrad degree is Philosophy.

Dalia Estrada
Age: mine - 3
This spicy number is an acquaintance from my eating at Naismith days. Vivacious. Artistic. Religious. A Witness. It has been awhile, but she is good people, so I will try to hang with her again before too much time has passed. She apparently moved this way, to the OP, I saw her once.

Dan Mangum – one of the first cool people I met at North. He was a funny guy.

Dan Pouw
Age: mine
Crazy Canadian fella. Became friends in 7th grade. He and the truth didn't get along, but who got along with the truth at that age? Mostly good times. Once a valued friend, in the old circle. Met Josh Loeffert through him, Kyle as well. Moved away to California a year after we finished high school. Thought my room smelled like feet.
note: the old circle to which I refer was composed of Casey, Adam, Hoj, Jarin, Brad, Dan and me.

Dan Vitale – one of my first OP friends, if not the first.

Dawn Gregory – a friend of Sarah Chaar. I lusted after her for a bit, and there was some fallout. Amongst the reasons Ashley Lindeman doesn't like me. Dawn's xanga. She is studying to be a pastry chef. It is her passion. She worked perhaps one of the least demanding jobs I've known anyone to (receptionist at JCCC's Mission Center Mall location). The pay seemed good. She moved to Florida to advance her studies of pastry.

David Finkel – back in the long-long ago, he was best of friends with Aaron Lynn. That made him better than ok in my books.

Derek Roe – a law school classmate. Also from section A. From Illinois, a skilled tennis player by all accounts. A fellow geek. We've seen a couple of movies together. He joins the crew at Tomfooleries.

Dina Skolnick – earning education degree, met her at Naismith. Danced for the Comet's. One of the most attractive girls I've ever been friends with. Moved to AZ, making it so two of the most attractive girls I've ever known moved there.

Eddy Beard – lives with my dad, things were strained in my youth. Is now common-law married to my father. My first stepmom.
interesting: Common-law marriage is not offered in MO, but it is in KS.

Elizabeth Kemnitzer
Aga: mine - 1
Matt's former roommate. She had once hated the world, and now does so less, or less openly. Has a boyfriend that she loves in LA. Her site.

Emily Long
aka: Emmee
Age: mine - 3
I kissed her once. She was flakey, and scared easy. I saw her get her first kiss over a year before I kissed her. It was by Marvelous 3 front-man, Butch Walker. At that time I met Emily, Lisa, Oleg, and Megan. It was a good time. Married Ian “Dingo” Long in September. I do hope the best for them, and well remember Dingo attempting to summon Oleg and Christian (Emily's then boyfriend) to come to OP to beat me up over the use of the term 'flakey.'

Eric Bacus – an artist of the next era, his canvas is digital, his paint is pixels, vectors, and whathaveyou. A talent and bright man. Passionate from what I've seen. Attending KCAI. His xanga. (pic)

Erin Thomas – a cool girl in Texas that I've never met in the real world. A good friend despite that. She has a good sense of humor (meaning she laughs at things that I say). Her xanga. Her lj.

Ernie Condon – xStepdad. Once I lifted him with my leg strength. Another time he shaved the beard off that defined him, as my mother wanted it gone. She regretted having him shave it.

Gary Lowmiller – (my mother's sister) Becky's husband = my uncle. Father of Chris and Casey.

Gillian Smith – the most adorable thing ever. An ex-girlfriend of Matt, but I thought she was pretty damned cool, too. Her lj.

Gwendolyn Davis – aka: 2 Gin Gwen, or even Gwen. A feisty section C law student born in KC, raised in OC. Highly amusing. Her manner of speech is very distinctive. Her undergrad degree is Linguistics, which seems to tie into the previous sentence. A self-described 'flaming liberal.' Her roommate was Pam, a nonTrad from my Section A. Gwen's lj.

Haley (Perfect) – another to join my ranks of ideal and only sort of real.

Heath Martin – another supercool former coworker. Trained in kung fu. Spent awhile in Taiwan. His ex-girlfriend, Cat, informed me that he falls. Heath is pretty awesome, twice introducing me into the fold with his group. A pretty good friend now-a-days. Friends with Lara, Sully, James, Rob and he knows Matt quite well. Heath was stranded in Phoenix with me. Mister Hand. Co-writes a webcomic with Sullivan.

Howard Long – my father's father. He'd been quiet most of the time. He'd served in World War II, engineer corp. I remember being told he operated a bulldozer on the beaches of Normandy after the beach was captured. Father of Clifford, Judy, Jo and Ken. Husband of Alice Long. Lost to Alzheimer's some time ago.

Ian and Kier Jackson – twin neighbor/friends from my first neighborhood. Masters of sarcasms and Magic. Their father was the award winning gym teacher at Amelia Earhart Environmental Magnet School. I have a measure of guilt giving them only one entry, after all they are two people. Not even identical. It just seems rude. No slight intended.

Isaac – a friend from the paleolithic era.

Jack Desmond – he was pretty mean in High School. Not to me, really, but I remember him being quite rude to Neisha, and his own girlfriend, Mindy. At KU he dated Allison, who was awesome. I don't know if it was Allison or pot, but he became much nicer. The only instance where I saw a truly positive effect from ganja.

Jack Roets – was (my mother's sister) Ava's husband = my uncle. Father of Mike Roets and April Martin. A fairly stoic man. Some degree native. I now wonder what tribe.

Jadh Jane Kerr – played basketball, did distance running, law school classmate of my Section A. She seems thoroughly pleasant, a bit withdrawn and modest. Her undergrad is Religion studies.

Jaime Moser
Age: near mine
You are likely to hear about me working with this one. A former coworker of mine from Blockbuster. Was a shift leader. Throws much effort into things. Something of a perfectionist. She seems to have twice the energy of most, but with little ability to pace herself, she crashes sometimes.

James Crowl – A good friend of Lara Mann, Heath and Sullivan. A very cool guy. Mister Quick. He gets to speak in a fairly hip way, and it sticks. Calling me a cat, but in a good way. Moved to Austin, TX.
interesting: James had dated Laura Frear for 6 days while I was friends with her, I didn't meet him until about 7 years later.

Jared Clements – Lloyd's son, my stepbro. Can beat me down in DBZ:2, and a little better than me at Custom Robo.

Jarin Tripses – a really good friend going into the Connie Renae mess. He had worked with her at Hobby Lobby long before I knew her. He had long hair, and was kinda short. He compensated for his shortness by working out a fair deal, by training with a sword and getting a little uppity when he'd lose in Magic. A lesson was learned: when you act silly when you lose, and don't do anything strange when you win, years later when someone tries to remember things about you, all that will pop up will be the times you lost.

Jeff Kinney – likely the most attractive of the employees that worked at the blockbuster at 123rd and State Line Rd with me. He was funny, too. Years passed, then I walked into Mike's Tavern. It turned out that he is now the lead singer of a band. That band is the Brisbanes (mySpace, website, free mp3 downloads), and here is the blog entry of the concert, and the run in (link).

Jennifer Stover – was Jennifer Sweezey. This was one cool girl from my high-school days. She went to the west side of the nation. Then re-appeared. She moved back, married, pregnant, and one of Heath Martin's superiors. Now a mother.

Jeremiah Miles – Blockbuster former coworker with strange taste in movies, music, xRoommate of Becca. Good guy. His myspace. His xanga.

Jeremiah Williamson – an early friend. I vaguely remember something bad happening to a ninja turtle because of him, he felt really bad. We plaid some Olympic game on a computer, too, I think. He was there for some strange goings-on.

Jesse – friend of Gidget and multi-time classmate. Gidget thinks I don't like her. She might not like me. *shrugs*

Jessica Harry
Age: mine - 2
She is the one from the tone deaf, "art," and hate God foreplay stories. Her and I had mad chemistry, and were forbidden to pursue it. The first girl I'd called my girlfriend. She married a fellow named Bob. Her art can be bought here, and she keeps a blogger blog.
interesting: after seeing me, Shana began dating Jessica's younger brother. By sheer chance, no overlapping social circles involved, Shana even met the guy when she was in Las Vegas.

Jessica Newman – an extremely fun, vivacious and positive woman who studies psychology. I've had the pleasure of many long conversations with her and she's been good enough to allow me to shove some of my culture down her throat (music, tv shows, etc). Finer company is hard to come by.

Jimmy McMurrian – my mother's brother. Has schizophrenia.

Johnathon Dubinski – another of the group of friends from Naismith. He was a cool guy, headed in the direction of education. Once held a knife to my throat as I came back from an epiphany. A true epiphany. Ran into him recently at a party in Lawrence, he now works for the city.

Jon Grant – Bryan's former roommate. Met him at Naismith. Now in LA. Friends with Lizzy Caplan (from Mean Girls). Got props from the chancellor. He could be quite dedicated at studying and cleaning at times.

Jonathan Ng – will be my co-president of LoNG inc. Where, if I recall, we will be a lingerie company where the security guards will pay to work for us. They would do so, as we would have the models walking around in the product. Smart and funny guy. He wound up being Student Body president at KU, which was awesome because he ran for President at BVN, but wasn't popular enough to win, that is to say he didn't look nearly as good as the competition in a skirt (at least as far as I know). News story with Jon.

Jonathan Sullivan – a.k.a. Sully. A friend and roommate of Heath. Similar culture to me, with music more in the punkish range, I think. He has attended a fair number of concerts with me, and co-founded Just by July with Josh and I. Corners of the Online scoured and whatnot. Mister Wire. His webcomic. His website.

Josh Loeffert
Born: August of 1981
aka: Hoj, bigfatHoj
I was his best man. He was my roommate for 2 years. Friendship and roommate were roles he simultaneously filled with no difficulty. Met him back in Overland Trail Middle School. We have the same taste in music, movies and video games. We both like writing strange stories. Similar sleep patterns. Great conversations. He married his love, Laura. Co-founded Just By July with Jonathan Sullivan and I. His website, his Condiment Man site, and xanga. Condiment Man's Realm.

Julia Jezmir – a.k.a. Jules. A chaotic storm of potential that sometimes calms me. She speaks in such a fascinating manner. She also has Russian at her disposal.

Justin DeArmond – my first real best friend. Lasted 12ish years. Apparently he tried to find me again some time ago, he knocked on the door, my mom freaked and called the police. I was at work. I haven't talked to him since. But that had to suck, he thought he was going to see his old time friend, and 'bam,' cops.

Karen Guyer – I was entranced by her eyes, I stopped wearing a watch in high-school, so I could look back to the clock at the back of the room, and my eyes would get their fill with hers on the way. I think I heard that she is married now, to someone in one of the military branches.

Kathleen Ellen Long
Age: my father - 9
She is my mom. She drives me nuts frequently with her hit and miss communication skills. She laughs loudly during movies, and slightly off moment. I must love her though.

Katie Watts – Katie was the second friend I made over at Minskey's (after April). I found them to be roommates. Katie is very fun, and she is on a team of improv comedians known as the Improv-Abilities (their site). Honestly for some reason I cringed to hear she was in an improv comedy group. Somehow I put improv on par with prop comedy, but I attended a show. It was very funny, once I got into it. It just looks like it takes a lot of guts, wit, and tough skin. I think Katie is to be a teacher one day, she'll likely do well at it.

Katy Scheele – heck if I remember how to spell her name. She was the first girl I asked out. I think I asked her out as she was the first girl to develop breasts in seventh grade. I was rejected, but looking back I am both proud that I was not intimidated by the lone pair of breasts, and a little embarrassed that I acted on that alone.

Kayt – I think she was my first IM buddy that I didn't know. Cool Kid.

Ken Long – my father's brother = my uncle. Served in Korea. Earned a purple heart. Works hard in D.C. even after retiring. I mainly got to know him after his mother's passing, and the Eureka-based contingent of the family broke from the rest of the family. It was messy, but I am pleased that I got to know him better for it. Husband of Barby Long.

Kevin Hawkins – a good guy who was my boss at 119th and Metcalf. He was excellent, kind, talkative, intelligent. But if you stole inventory, or lied to him, well, you shouldn't do those things. He was terminated for ill reason.

Kevin Pfeiffer – the only friend I can remember from my days of Minneha, I lied to him much, but hey, it was grade school. He had rage, but his little friend Nathan could restrain him.

Khanyisile Mthetwa – a glorious professional flute player I had the pleasure of meeting in South Africa. We hung out a few times, just her and I. I'd dubbed the last one a date, she didn't seem to object. I wanted it to be a date, because between the ocean, her, the sunset, the dinner: it was one of the best dates I've had in my life. She is part of some of my most beautiful memories in SAfrica. When we'd go out together, random folk would frequently comment on how beautiful she was, they weren't wrong. She is Zulu, and was born during Apartheid, but was relatively untouched by it. I learned much from her.

Kim Loeffert – I don't see her all that often, but if I watched any girl grow into a woman, it's her. In the first of days, I thought her brother (Josh) was calling her Phlegm, it seemed possible, but he was calling her Kim. She grew out of the poor nickname and became Magnet Girl in Cow Defender, even though she didn't know. She nears graduation from KU with an art degree. It was really Josh's wedding where I noticed that she'd grown up at some point, here is an account of that day.

Kim Lowmiller – a woman that attended JCCC at a time that I did. She was wed in 2004 to my cousin Kris. I don't know her all that well, but she does play well with the family's children. She also appears to make Kris happy.

Kris Lowmiller – (my mother's sister) Becky's son = my cousin. Known as the joker, was wed in 2004 to a woman that had attended JCCC, I may have known her. His brother is Casey Lowmiller. His father is Gary Lowmiller. His wife is Kim Lowmiller.

Kyle Knecht – his boyish good looks, verve, charm and command of sports triva knowledge has lead the Spatulators to the victory circle on more than one occassion. I met Kyle through his girlfriend Caroline, who I met through my friend April. Kyle pays bills working for Cerner and I sure believe he would like to make full use of his degree in landscape architecture. But I was dyslexic about it before. Good guy.

Kyle Schroeder – this was one weird kid, but he was great. Attended middle school with him. He attended one of my birthdays (either during 7th or 8th grade), he gave me a hackysack in a huge TV box. He'd smuggle playboys into class, he play Weird Al music from his backpack. In 8th grade our 'team' had a gerbil, it died over spring break, someone missed the first day back and asked where the gerbil was, Kyle answered. He ran to the front of the room, and drew a picture of the dead (and pregnant) gerbil. He and Dan Pouw would cheat on tests in Mr. Mansker's history class, and he'd split the grade between them. Odd kid.

Lara Mann – A friend of Heath and James. Won some sort of award for her writing accomplishments. Does not like to be rooted, in a few senses. Has classes with Rachel Murray sometimes. Creative Writing major at KU. Classy girl, twice I've gotten to see her dolled up as though it were the twenties. She wears that period well. Mister Pearl. The relevance of her ass is in the past.

Laura Berman
Age: Mine - 5
aka: Lily
A friend of mine and a friend of Matt's. She moved to Canada's McGill. A young lady who dedicates her energies in strange, atypical directions. Caring. Variable communication ability. Still lives in a world of ideals. Can't say if that is good or bad. Is now taking her ideals (shore side sand) and putting it against logic (a siv) to find the gold. The gold is there. Her lj. (pic)

Laura Frear – my first female friend that was openly sexual. She was Wiccan, suffered mood swings, usually a source of good things in my life, then things took a turn, and the friendship was no longer tenable. Apparently Heath's friend James dated her for 6 days during the several months I was friends with her. She is the girl from the dart story.

Laura Loeffert – Hoj's wife. School teacher. When I first met her she was wearing a shirt for Xavier's school for the gifted. I once asked her if Amanda Baldwin liked Josh back, she evasively informed me that Amanda did not, but someone else did... the rest is history.

Lauren White
Age: mine - 3
aka: Helga
Met her in German class, and hung with her a fair amount in that semester following my graduation. Oh, she is with the band. I did her some wrong, but hopefully not too burdensome.

Lindsey Hogan – a total package of a girl. Attractive and smart. Teaching in North Carolina. Was in a band. I'd have fantastic multi-hour conversations with her on a great many topics. Attended BVN with me, as well as KU. I knew she was quality when I first spoke to her, we'd gotten little compatibility surveys in high school, filled them out and were matched up with people. Lindsey Hogan was the number one on my list, and I used it to start a conversation with her. She humored me through and we became friends.

Lindsey R – aka: Linds
Age: me - 5
Friend of Steph, Ash and another Steph. A former frequent at my Blockbuster. She is filled with curiosity and life. Her xanga.

Lisa
Age: me - 3
Married to Oleg. I can't remember Oleg's last name, so I don't know her name anymore. Once a very close friend. Now friendship carries on through use of online tools such as mySpace. I saw her a little while back, it was nice. Almost had something with her. She and Oleg intend missionary work and Lisa is back on the path for her nursing degree.

Lloyd Clements – my mom's husband. Stepdad number two. He has helped me out of a couple binds.

Lorretta – Hoj's first girl friend, she sure was tall. He gave her a cactus. She appears in a Cow Defender story, and a Condiment Man story.

Mark – friend of Gidget. A nice guy.

Mark Raduziner – one of my favorite professors. I took Introduction to Mass-Media/Communication and Introduction to Writing for Journalists (or something like that). One of the most impassioned professors, and entertaining, and honest. I've since recommended him to a number of prospective college kids. His profile.

Matt Conley
Age: mine - 2
aka: Matteo, bigbadmatty-C, Vash, P-Mo
Once a lackey of mine, but with his drive, intuition and whatnot he went from minion to friend. Very similar interests as me in damn near anything, although his music tastes run more in the direction of punk, ska and related fields than my mod-rock. I think the girls may be more choice over there. He has a Poli-Sci degree from KU. Friend of mine for a few years, as we went a time without each other for some reason, which I know not. We bring out the best and worst in eachother, to comedic effect, although some ladies find it antagonistic. Wrestling, gaming, [adult swimming], movies. and internet. This guy knows almost anyone I could put anywhere on my blog, except maybe Gidget (and her peeps) and Megan (and her peeps). Worked for Dennis Moore (Congressman for Kansas) in Washington, D.C. His lj.

Matt Walters – one of my most favored law school classmates. We have a fair deal of common ground. Politics. SciFi. Attitude. It has intrigued me a fair deal, that I've not found any political topic we've disagreed on, but we are affiliated with the opposite parties. I must confess that is quite refreshing.

Max Sprague – a young man with a promising future before him. Why do I think this? I see a little of me and him, and I have pretty high hopes for myself. Friends of Beckie and Eric. His xanga.

Megan Murphy – another very nice, attractive girl from my high school days. At some point in time, I drew a picture of her, humorously enough I aged her to about 80 in it. I still have that somewhere.

Megan Pierce
Age: mine - 3
aka: Mega Mega
Became a close friend of mine back when I was in Naismith, and she was about 17. We went to a Marvelous 3 concert, and I befriended her group. I almost had something with nearly all of her female friends (to avoid confusion: 'almost had something' essentially means 'had nothing'), but her and I maintained a solid and great friendship. Then she moved to the east coast, and we have maintained a delightful long distance friendship. Her friends: Lisa, Emily, and Anna. Her xanga.

Melissa Kaylor
Age: me + 2
aka: Mel
Former co-worker extraordinare. One of those smart folks that doesn't want people to know she is smart, and is angered by those who think she is stupid. She speaks her mind, even though her mind often treads to parts unknown. She is a loving mother to Tyler. She knows video games, and would be offended if you assumed otherwise. Fun times. Lives with Curtis, the father of her son. Problems with Johnny Law.

Mercedes Willis – one of the sweetest girls I met in law school, but is no longer in law school, but is still at UMKC for a tax law degree through the business school. A frequent cameo in the places I go, whether it be Tomfooleries or the Beaumont or a BBQ at Brian Mayer's. interesting: Mercedes worked (or works?) with Catherine Spitzenberger.

Meredith Adams – a basketball player in high school, I had typing with her. We played off of each other in that way that some would conclude that we liked each other. I asked her out, and suffered the painful 'you are kidding, right?' Or something to that effect.

Michaline Schecter – I fear I've misspelled her name. She was the first girl I thought was cool. Dates all the way back to 1st grade, I believe. I think she was from Hawaii.

Mike Ducey – a member of the gym class triumvirate (Aaron Lynn, he and I). He was near for most of middle and high school.

Mike Ienna – a former co-worker of mine from Blockbuster at 119th and Metcalf, the first age. Had been an assistant manager. Had attended Georgia Tech. Last I knew moved to Dallas.

Mike Pratte
Age: mine - 1
Great friend from Naismith, similar to me in many respects. I wish he hadn't gone off to Missouri, be he had to do what he had to do. We had awesome conversations.

Mike Roets – (my mother's sister) Ava's son = my cousin. Now a father of three. A police officer in Wichita, KS. His sister is April Martin. His father is Jack Roets. Husband of Megan Roets.

Missy Riha – Adam's wife. Was good friends with Andrea Dias from long ago.

Missy MacPhearson – Wife of Alex. Mother of Aryanna Grace. Former schoolteacher. A day care provider.

Molly – friend of Sarah Chaar. Employee of Best Buy. (last I knew).

Molly – Has been at 4 Roger Clyne shows with me, she'd been coupled with Patrick Handrahan for those events.

Natalie Lomas – formely Natalie Spiess. She is charismatic, charming friend of Heath. She has a face similar to Gina Davis, and facial expressions like Jenny McCarthy (I mean both things in the positive way). One of those vivacious ones. Moved to Arlington, TX after acquiring her art degree from KU to be with the man that became her husband.

Neil Hackborn – was from my Inn in Section A. He was very quiet much of the time, but I realized (after a fashion) that he was something of a conversational sniper (like my father), waiting for the correct moment to add something. When he speaks, it is quite usually something worth hearing. He has left our class, but is still around at Tomfooleries and in general. I wonder what is next for him.

Neisha Benson
Age: mine - 10 months
Friend since Sophmore year of High School. Things were all over the place. We could talk about anything. We tried to be a couple like 3 times, it didn't turn out too well. Then communication sputtered. The last I saw her was in the winter of 2002. But more importantly, I likely was hugged more by her than anyone. She made me more comfortable with human contact (as I am no longer allergic) and was very caring. She was the Ass Kicking Girl (introduced in Cow Defender #42).

Nicole Durfee
Age: me + 1
This is a cool girl, a friend of Gidget, as well as her roommate. Studied Psych at UMKC. Has designs to fly mean planes for the Navy. Woke up early to run to prepare. Ahh... dedication. Actually, now she trains. She may be in Quantico now. She married a fellow named Will. I don't know anything about Will, except that they work together.

Nicole Perica-Gerken – another fabulously attractive woman friend of mine, had a couple of classes with her. She received a Journalism degree from KU, then went off to do some cool job. Is currently an Account Manager for Barkley Evergreen & Partners. It is a pretty excellent site. Her husband, Brandon Gerken (Catfish), is in a band, Browntown.

Nina Murphy
Age: mine - 5
She defines herself by her love of singing, stage, and gay culture. Oh, she isn't gay though. Helluva voice. She was Magenta for the Mind's Eye Production of Rocky Horror Picture Show. She was Yitzhak in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. She was Roberta in a musical version of Debbie Does Dallas. Her xanga.

Pamela Walters – a wonderful woman, kindly enough to let me date her for a couple of months. Filled with energy and kindness. Attractive and smart. Stephanie Yeo's sister. Pam's xanga.

Patrick Handrahan – was the lead singer of Simmons, is the lead singer of the alyson. I've run into him at three Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers shows, which is enough to get to know someone. We've done some email correspondence. His band is good, he is talented and kind. From their site you can get some of their music for free. I suggest Tuesday and Walk On By to get started with. Patrick teaches Freshman High School English when he is not with his band. Simmons's mySpace site, the Alyson's mySpace site.

Phillip Moody – a former boss of mine from Blockbuster (123rd and State Line Rd). He'd create elaborate productions for summer Blockbusters (the Mummy, Star Wars Episode I, Episode II). He'd cast impersonators. He'd found an Amidala even more attractive than Natalie Portman. She was jaw-dropping. He was great to work with, as he was kind and didn't push very hard. We'd tell each other our story ideas. He dreamed of being involved in any way possible with Episode III. He began directing in the KC area.

Rachel Murray – a friend of Sarah Chaar. Has some classes with Lara Mann. Interesting when people connect up from such different ends. I tutored her at statistics, and once wound up getting offended, rare for me. Creative Writing major at KU. Talented poet from what I hear. Potter. Dress maker. She can be very kind.

Rebecca Zigeler – a friend of Matt's, a friend of Lily's, mother of Tristan. Her lj.
Rob – I'll have his last name some time. A friend of Heath's. He was in town for awhile. Had interesting conversations with him. He has seem an astounding number of concerts. I think he is back in Iowa now? Maybe a Caronlina?

Rob Long
Age: mine + 18
This guy is my half-brother. Son of my father. He edits film for the state of Oklahoma. Me + 4 inches in height. He has a mySpace now.

Ross Jordanov – Gidge's husband. Nicole called him Napoleon when he wasn't around. A father.

Ryan Embry – another best friend from my days at Earhart. He used to threaten the friendship, counting up to ten. At ten he'd revoke friendship. He'd do it if I was playing on the monkey bars when he wanted to slide, that sort of thing. One day I let him reach ten, we didn't stop being friends at that time. We were in first or second grade, so I cut much slack.

Sara Garber
Age: mine - 1
She is so cool, and is like the best hug I've ever had. She is almost guaranteed to bring a smile to you. She is that kind of female friend that you wish you could find a girl just like her that you have the appropriate chemistry with, to have and hold. Many of my friends fell to her charms. Hard not to.

Sarah Chaar
Age: mine - 3
I met her First Aid / CPR. She is rather amusing. With a sense of style, a ferocious tight bond with friends, and a passion for 90210. She is a photog within, but will become a teacher to not lose that part. Now studies at UMKC. Her xanga.

Sarah Pierce – my first true infatuation. I fell in love with the ideal of Sarah Pierce. Don't know that I ever met the reality.

Sean Calhoun – was a fine customer of mine from Blockbuster at 123rd and State Line Rd, then I transferred to 119th, he soon got a job there. We'd talk about wrestling and games. Cool guy.

Shana Blythe Kayne
aka: Blythe
Age: me - 2
Smart girl, hard worker, artistic. I had relations with her a while back. One of the most amicable splits in my life. I don't know that I knew her all that well. She is now in the AFROTC. Her site, she puts much into it.

Shannon Donnelly – she entered the ranks of Sarah Pierce, but I got closer. I may have even met the reality. I became more ideal, I had to like that. Last I heard (from her mother) was that she blew the LSAT up and was working a great job in DC.

Sirie – in what may become the most flawed entry on my people page, Sirie may be misspelled, may be from Norway, is seeking an engineering degree. She likes salsa music.

Sonny McMurrian – my mother's father = my grandfather. Father of Ava, Becky, Jimmy and my mom. A warm, friendly man.

Sonya "Gidget" Dixon
Age: mine + 6
A very cool and unique individual. People person. Assertive. Spiritual. Met her at work, had positive interaction. Wound up next to her at a KU computer lab. Ran into her at work again, after she came back from Europe. Friendship ensued. Friends with Mark, Nicole, Jesse, and she also has a husband, Ross. They were wed on 4-4-4. Now a mother!

Stephanie Torgler
aka: Steph
Age: me - 5
Steph is a good one. I think she is very advanced in her search for self, she has made many hard decisions for a person of her age. Steph rigorously works out, is rather talented at art. Her xanga.

Stephanie Yeo – a section A classmate of mine. A former teacher who is a blast outside of school (not that she isn't at school). She really is a good deal of fun. Wife of Tom Yeo. Sister of Pam Walters. Her xanga, her mySpace. (pic)

Sterling Witt – a great friend for a brief time. We were friends in the later days of high school, and for my first stint at JCCC. He was a talented chef. I'd envied his direction. He knew where he was going so long ago. Last I knew, I was told he was catering for the Chiefs. friends with Scott Jones, Adam Riha, Matt Miller and Cara Beth Myers.

Tom Yeo – the husband of Stephanie Yeo, a good and humorous fellow. Son of George. I met him at the Barrister's Ball, and he'd come to Tomfooleries with Stephanie. I usually spend a fair deal of time talking to him. He made me some fine steak. He reminds me of my cousin Mike Roets, and (interesting:) his cousin is Section C's Gwendolyn Davis.

Tommy Ryan – a good sense of humor and he ran fast. A high school chum. I'd see him randomly at Blockbuster.

Traci Kapitan – my “wife” from human sexuality. A good-humored, attractive girl.

Violet McMurrian – my mother's mother. My grandmother. Father of Ava, Becky, Jimmy and my mom. A kindly woman. Lost to cancer some time ago, I didn't get to know her very well.

Zach Razavi – cool kid, if I hide his age, he can hang with my folk. A great politician in the making. Friend of Bryn and Matt. Excellent at Smash Bros., debate, and likely Magic.

Still in progress, I intend a filter for level of familiarity, or somesuch.