Tantrums      main

This page should be put in perspective, strangely it is one of the most read on the site. For those that don't know me, this is not as I am now. I've been calm for years. Those that have met me in the past few years had never seen this in me. I chronicle it in part to show how far I've come and in part because I'm proud what I held to be my greatest fault: my temper. One can also derive from here that I don't let somethings go, which is true. I hold myself to a high code of conduct. With all of that out of the way, what follows should be looked at accordingly:

I once had tantrums, I'd fly off the handle. I didn't play things cool back then. I will here account for those times where I lost it.

*Being laughed at while injured. I haven't the slightest how long ago it was. I was young. The maternal extended family gathered at the Rovensteins'. They had an elevated pool in the back. I stepped back preparing to jump in. I fell backwards onto the back of my head. The scar wouldn't be seen for many years, as my hear had been too long until I finally asked for my first Caesar cut. I fell and it hurt. I could hear laughter from my cousin, Casey, who was in the pool. I flipped out got back up to the pool, and jumped in cussing and fists flying. It embarrassed my mother that her son was so out of control.

*Casey again. I don't remember what he said, but I flipped and grabbed the first thing I could and began hitting him with it. It was one of those chains that one uses to secure their bike. His mom (my aunt Becky) stopped me pretty quick. This was likely my worst. I used a weapon, afterall.

*Nathan Roberts in 7^th or 8^th grade wanted to push my buttons. I'd beat him at normal trivia questions asked by John Ng, then Nate could consistently beat me at sports trivia. I guess that was the origin of the animosity. He engaged in an escalating campaign to rile me, he eventually succeeded. He and Scott Murray hip checked me until I dropped my book and binder. Then again as I was standing back up. I snapped and grabbed Nate by the throat and threatened him. I was left alone by him for the rest of time.

*Not getting my yearbook in 8^th grade. I'd made many friends, I wanted a well-signed yearbook. My mother hadn't paid for one, I thought she did. It was the day when the books were being handed out, and signed. I was told they would resolve it before the end of the day. That didn't sound soon enough. I flipped out. I wasted staples, glue, cried some. Suzy Bae was likely the closest witness, I remember this, as it felt strange for me to see Suzy for long after for the shame that the tantrum brought.

*A cheap move in a wrestling video game. There was a move in WCW/NWO Revenge for the n64 that Buff Bagwell had. The move was a snapmare. It did little damage, but was very quick, and very hard to counter. Brad Bott did the move continually. I vowed that if he kept doing that move I'd hit my head on the floor. He did it again. I hit my head on the floor; hard.

*Laura Frear and I had an occasionally violent friendship. It was usually just one way. But there came a time when I sent some violence her way. Thirsty and stranded at Tomahawk Creek Park. Feeling very out of place with the trio of Laura, Marinda (sp), and Adam Riha. They were attached by leashes, and Laura was inviting me to be wearing a choke chain. I tried just walking away, but between Laura hitting my back with the choke chain which was intended for my neck, Marinda saying I was being immature and weeks of building bizarreness in the friendships I'd had in place for years, I snapped. I grabbed Laura by the neck and found myself a spectator of my own actions. I watched in wonder if I would let go. I did. Strangely that was not the endpoint of the friendship, but it was near the end.

*Royal Rumble from 1999. The first pay per view I'd attempted to order. I took care of the ordering information. But as the ppv was to begin, it did not appear on my tv. I called the cable company to determine what went wrong. It was our absence of a cable box. I flipped. It turned out, we went to Brad's for a truly entertaining ppv, with a match that ties for my favorite: Triple H v Cactus Jack.

*I used to tape my favorite songs' music videos from MTV, one day Tape 4 wasn't ejecting. This was back around the time of that Royal Rumble. I flipped and yanked it out forcefully, breaking the tape part. Modern me could fix it, but then again, I wouldn't do much with a tape of music videos...

That is all that I can recall at this time. In my younger days, back where the two attacks on Casey happened, I was a generally over-serious, brooding youth. My mom's family called me the professor. I often thought of it as a sign of my intelligence, but now I'm more apt to consider it a sign of my seriousness. I did not possess youthful lightness. It was hard to lighten up, to calm down. I believe I've done those things. The most recent of the above tantrums happened in 1999. I've dealt with great calm in the face of chaos. I've become fairly unflappable. But behind me was rage, frustration and violence. The violence most frequently directed at my computer's keyboard, whether it be in the form of violent stories or beating the crap out of the keyboard.

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